Bad Cop, Stupid Cop

At my school, we have a police officer who sits around all day. If you're looking for the bumbling cop of the year, look no further than this guy. he is obese, has those 70's nerd glasses, and by law can't even carry a loaded gun in our school. He has no idea about what goes on at our school. There are people leaving, smoking pot, even having sex at school. All right under his nose. We mock him constantly. For example, I joke all the time, saying things like "I say we steal his gun. It's not loaded; what's he gonna do, taze us." The guy is just a lousy cop. That's probably why he spends his entire work day at our school. His chief won't put him on any other assignments. Poor fella. I almost feel bad for him. Almost. Most of the time, he just gives us a good laugh.